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  • *** BREAKING *** AFTERNOON UPDATE *** – ** – * NIBBLE ON THIS!

    Posted on April 19th, 2018 Becky 13 comments

    *** BREAKING NEWS ***

    ABSOLUTE STUPIDITY!

         This is just too much! How stupid can these editors and reporters be? Click here for, “Holiday Inn Express offers teacher suspended for making pancakes during PSSAs a free pancake maker.” Unbelievable! Why did he tell you he was going to be fired, “reporter” Geli? And why did you believe him? Why don’t you report on that?

    IN A DANK CORNER!

         Well, I certainly learned some new things today (see the comments under this post). “Dank” is a slang word for good marijuana and now has also transitioned from that to be used to describe beer among many other things.
         But even given my new knowledge, I still say the below beer review is ridiculous and gobbledygook. And I don’t want a beer with the flavor of “dankness” as well as “musty grass, over-ripe mango, lemon zest and pine.” I simply do not. Put that beer in a dank corner and give me a Bud!
         Seriously, back to serious news tomorrow!

    FROM PANCAKES TO BEER!

         It poured straw gold with a creamy, white head, slight haze and lazy particulates. The aroma was dank with green herbs and grass, passion fruit, mango and lemon. In flavor, dankness followed from the nose as well as musty grass, over-ripe mango, lemon zest and pine. There was a ton of flavor in this session IPA while being nicely bittered over an underlying softness; it’s crushable, for sure.
    From the LNP article, “Learn about riding the rails with hobos (don’t call them tramps) and find tasting notes on 3 Lord Hobo beers,” (click here).
         That is the most ridiculous gobbledygook I have read in a long time. Are there any editors at LNP? Does anyone working there have any common sense?

    *****

    YOU CORRECT INACCURACIES!

    From a special column in today’s LNP by SDoL School Board President Edith Gallagher regarding pancakegate (click here).

    ***  Yes, and LNP should have issued a correction for those inaccuracies. Period. Any ethical journalism organization would.
           Okay, I am done!

    ****

    **   Thank goodness it was whole grain. Any other kind of pancake and I think we would have a systemic unravel of not just the middle school, but I fear our society.
    Part of a comment under the editorial.
         Amen! LOL!

    FULL OF IT!

    From LNP’s editorial.

    *    Yes, I’m sure you “know” middle-school-age children because most of your reporters are only a few years past that!
          The man cooked pancakes during the test. He brought an electric griddle and we assume a spatula. We don’t know if he mixed the batter for the pancakes in the room or if he brought a big pitcher of batter with him. He must have had some form of grease for his griddle and then he poured batter on it and cooked these wholegrain pancakes while the students were supposed to be taking a test!
         We still don’t know how he served them. We don’t know if he had plates, forks and syrup or if he just slapped a wholegrain cake down on their desks for them to eat with their hands while taking a test.
          Yes, the district has to take the protocols seriously or else you’d be screaming especially if these student’s test results were thrown out because of the absurd distraction of a man flipping pancakes on a griddle and then students “nibbling” on them.
         I truly am now done with this false wholegrain pancakegate. Your terrible, incorrect reporting started this flap in the first place. You should have issued a correction and an apology instead of writing this nonsensical crap!

         *****

    BATTER UP!

    Today’s LNP editorial headline from the print edition (click here to read the editorial online).

    An excellent comment posted under the editorial.

         You are a disgrace to journalism, LNP.
    Please check back later today.

     

    13 responses to “*** BREAKING *** AFTERNOON UPDATE *** – ** – * NIBBLE ON THIS!”

    1. The part about feeling compelled to take the PSSAs so seriously is disgusting. Truly unadulterated disgusting.

      Yes, they take them seriously. And it was your sad excuse of a newspaper that tried to make this a ‘serious’ story.

      Honest to god, what idiots.

      As for the teacher, he made a mistake. Probably a LOT fewer mistakes than the LNP makes in just a week’s worth of papers.

      This newspaper hyperfocuses on shitty little non stories like this one while at the same time they don’t even report on the mistakes that the police and mayor make on a regular basis.

    2. Dank? Good lord. Here’s what the Urban Dictionary says about dank.

      Dank
      Dank, is an adjective which is over-used by people in general and mostly by people trying to appear cool to their stoner friends. Dank means dark, sticky, gooey, and potent. It was originally a common word to describe disgusting basements and caves ect. Then the world of pot took it over and was using it very correctly to describe very potent strains of marijuana, seeing as the definition of dank meets all the qualities you find in good marijuana. Then “squares” and people who wanted to look cool to stoners started using it to describe anything they think is “cool” which in turns makes them believe they themselves are “cool” as well. In reality it makes them seem as illiterate as an ape. M&M’s are not dank, chips are not dank, and your clothes are definitely not dank, you need to stop overusing and killing the word.
      Stoner- “Wow man, this bud i got off that chill guy I met is pretty dank, i’m definitely going to buy from him again.”

      Stoner’s Lame friend- “Yeah man, i got this really dank shirt today from A&F”

      Stoner- “You got a sticky and gooey shirt? are you an idiot? Oh, and from Ambercrombie & Bitch? Man, get the hell out of here, you’re ruining my high”

    3. just goes to show how out of touch her editor is OR the editor is as lame and illiterate as she is.

    4. Thanks, huh? I did not know that! 🙂 🙂 All I know is that I’m not drinking anything that smells and tastes “dank!”

    5. Peggy Steinman would have a heart attack if she knew!

    6. Slang. high-quality marijuana:
      We were just chilling out and smoking dank together.

      I am out of touch! 🙁 🙁 I did not know that!

      Dicionary.com – Dank

    7. I admit it! I am in shock!

      Though Heineken should definitely be described as skunky, no craft beer fan would call Heineken dank. Very hoppy, cloudy IPAs are dank, which seems to be both a reference to their generally high alcohol content and their funky, green resinous flavors. This style has become known as a New England IPA, though it is produced all over the country, and there appears to be a cottage industry in finding ways to incorporate “dank” when naming such a beer. Five minutes on the internet and you can create a shopping list for the following beers: Dirty Dank Juice, Dank IPA, Mr. Wiggles Double Dank IPA, Redankulous, Dankosaurus IPA, and Highway to the Dankerzone. Sure, you can deem any beer you love as dank, meaning high quality, but when you taste a dank IPA, you know it.

      “Dank” is the new umami

    8. To correct other inaccuracy in our Pancakegate investigation

      -Bigfoot was not flying a UFO with Elvis spreading chemtrails across Lancaster County.

    9. OnTheBeachByNoon

      Re: Pancakes…what gets me is that several yrs ago, a local school administrator plagiarized a commencement address, or some sort of speech, the nat’l news media was all over it, and the local media…AND local yokels…could have cared less. Plagiarism is stealing, among other things. Cooking during a test is just stupid. There are no priorities in Lancaster County because there are no morals, ethics, brains, etc. The idiots who form the leadership do not constitue an Algonquin roundtable, by ANY stretch.

    10. “give me a bud.” I agree Becky. When I drank, I drank to get hammered, not to savor the flavor. Foodyism of the drinking class, foodyism being one of four signs of an empire in decline.

    11. barry in winnipeg

      Heads up. As of July 1st the sale of pot will be legal in Canada, or should we call it ‘Dankada’? How to get to Canada, you ask? Face the setting sun, turn right, and keep going until you hear a lot of people saying ‘eh.’ And our maple syrup is so good it will raise your IQ ten points while you’re taking your standardized tests with or without whole grained flapjacks. Ah, how I miss Lancaster County and the news that just keeps on giving!

    12. 🙂 🙂

    13. OnTheBeachByNoon

      Legal weed? Makes the avge temp of -20 almost look inviting. But I will stick to vacationing in Colorado. Cant beat a live concert at Red Rocks.