LOCAL DATING SCAM ARTISTS!

STEER CLEAR, LADIES!

[Editor's note:  I had just finished this "light hearted" post when this shocking story went up on Lancaster Online, "Ex-McCaskey teacher sentenced 20-40 years for having sex with two students," (click here).  This is unbelievable and outrageous!  There will be much more tomorrow.]

     Today, amid the posts on dog parks, the making of the movie, “Witness, their “bullying series,” and “Crimestoppers,” this was posted on the Lancaster City Police Facebook page, “RECOGNIZING AN ONLINE DATING SCAM ARTIST.”
      No, I’m not kidding.  It is very juvenile and if you want to read it you must go to their page  to do so (click here).    But I thought I would do them one better today!  Yes, I am going to identify local dating scam artists you may well find on dating websites.  Women, please pay close attention!  If you find any of these men, stop immediately and call the District Attorney’s office as quickly as you can unless advised to do otherwise below.

KEITH SADLER

     This man is married but that has never been known to stop him!  Rumor has it that he likes to engage in threesomes and also has serious anger management issues.  Avoid at all costs!

J. RICHARD GRAY

    This man is also married and easily recognizable by his ridiculous bowties.  Please note that he cannot afford any more illegitimate children!  He’s already paying dearly and  being blackmailed by numerous parties.  Absolutely steer clear!

PETE RUGGIERI

      Believe it or not, this matress salesman is running for Mayor!  He is officially single but rumor has it that he is currently dating  an unfortunate woman who met him on a dating website and he  keeps her locked in his basement and plies her with booze to keep her quiet!    Avoid this man at all costs!

RON HARPER, JR.

    This man is a former community “watchdog” and he is separated but has taken the “watchdog” term just a bit too much to heart.  He and his dorgi, Stella, have developed a very disturbing relationship and are never apart.  He has become a true dog lover, if you know what I mean.  If you spot him on a dating website, immediately call the Humane League rather than the District Attorney!

MARV ADAMS

     This man is married – but it’s the third time for both he and his wife and Marv has been known to cruise various houses of worship looking for unsuspecting females!  He is a male chauvinist pig and has been known to ramble on about “volcanos in Pequea.”  If you spot him on a dating website, call your minister immediately!

ERNIE SCHREIBER

    Do we really need to worry about this man getting a date on a dating website?  However, he is a pathological liar and in denial of his own sexuality – so, if you spot him on a dating website, contact the site owners immediately!  

GIL SMART

    This man is married with three children.  Almost everything outrages him and he pretends to know a lot about everything.  You may not need to worry – we understand Robert Field of NewsLanc has his head so far up Smart’s butt he can’t leave his seat to go on a date.  However, if you should spot him, email Field immediately and let him know Smart is cheating on him!

     Ladies, take this to heart and be safe out there on the wild, wild web!