BUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE MUST STOP!Posted on October 2nd, 2012 39 comments
JERRY SPRINGER SHOW!
Correct me if I am wrong, but is it not abuse/assault for her to be “smacking him right across the face”?
This whole sick (should I say “sic”) tale is nothing but a mess. Like a Jerry Springer episode. And I hate reality TV.
One of many comments in under this morning’s post.
It is entirely my fault. I could never have imagined the book being this awful! It is essentially a terribly written soap opera.
Rosa didn’t like her mother-in-law! Well, there’s a new theme! She also doesn’t like her sister-in-law, who takes up pages and pages in the book. I lost track of the men, the babies, the financial problems, the times she lived with them and her problems with the law. I didn’t care and I don’t know why anyone else outside of the family might care.
The actual incidents of abuse by Rosa’s husband, Police Chief Keith Sadler, are documented in three or four mentions in the book. The fact that he was a police officer does not really come into play. I think most men would say to the women they abuse, “If you call the police, I’ll be arrested and lose my job and then where will you and the kids be?”
The title of the book would simply seem to be for its “shock” value and sales potential. I don’t think it surprises anyone that there are police officers who abuse their wives or significant others. If that is discovered, it should end their police career.
Domestic violence is extremely serious and a huge societal problem. Just take note of the breaking news above this morning’s post. Women are seriously injured and killed everyday by the men who supposedly love them. We must put a stop to this.
I believe Sadler, a very large man, hit his wife frequently over the course of years. I’m not saying she didn’t at times hit back, but the end result was a terribly dysfunctional family with three children caught in the middle of a war.
No matter how poorly written, I believe Sadler hid his first wife for obvious reasons during the hiring process in Lancaster. I will state again, this man should not be the Chief of Police let alone a police officer. And serious allegations of physical abuse are made in her book and the Lancaster Newspapers have a duty to make their readers aware of it. There is no question.
A few other notes:
—- Yes, I believe Rosa’s current actions have a “revenge” factor. It is what it is and all of us seek revenge at one time or another.
—- I became very uncomfortable with her sending constant comments into this site. I tried to delay posting them or wait until another comment came in and post them at the same time to defray slightly from hers. I can understand her commenting on specific posts about her book, but not about the poor performance of the Chief and the Lancaster Police Department overall. She never discusses his performance as a police officer in her book. As I have stated, he could have had almost any profession/job in her book.
—- I also became very uncomfortable with her “social media” presence. She would repost my stories on her three Facebook accounts, her twitter account, her Google Plus account and who knows where else. She was fond of using the words “sister” and “warrior” in her posts and that made me very uncomfortable. She would let me know how many “followers” she had and as, I guess, an incentive for me to write more, would tell me that “many people” were reading my site. I didn’t believe her, I didn’t care and none of that affected the content of this site.
—- I had plans to meet with her this past Saturday and I cancelled. I found some of her recent behavior to be concerning and unbalanced and I didn‘t think I would learn anything new that would lend insight into anything.
—- She told me over the phone a month and a half ago that she didn’t want me to think she was a “religious nut” and said she hadn’t been to church in years. She invokes God constantly in her book. Her final chapter says she will “walk with God.” Well, I can say that, too! Heck, anyone can say that! Her constant “God blesses” and “Amens” everywhere she posts border on absurdity.
—- I truly hope that her ultimate concern and focus is to address domestic violence . It must stop. And for that reason, Keith Sadler should not be the Chief of the Lancaster Police and the permanent box at the top of this site will remain as it currently stands.
—- Please see this Lancaster Newspaper article and video from March of this year where Police Lt. Todd Umstead talks about domestic violence and the number of calls the Lancaster Police receive and respond to in a year. As a society, we must do everything possible to bring this to an end.
39 responses to “BUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE MUST STOP!”
hereshecomes October 2nd, 2012 at 18:06
Jerry Springer indeed. Who acts like this?
I do wonder what kind of information one needs to submit to be considered to be a LEO or police chief. Heck, in being cleared for volunteering for my kid’s school I had to complete a state form listing every single person “who lived with [me] at any time from 1975 to the present.”
Oh thank God that’s over. Sorry, Becky, and with all due respect, she was too much. Abused or not, it was plainly obvious that she was only after her own fame and attention seeking behavior. I don’t know the accuracy of her claims, nor do I care to speculate.
Domestic violence is heavily prosecuted, especially in this county. I think the important thing to remember about domestic violence is that there is help available, not just from police, but from not-for-profit agencies that have leaders and counselors who were also victims. This isn’t the days of old where abuse is discounted as easily.
Here are a few agencies victims can contact:
Thank you FWIW and hereshecomes for your sensible posts!
FWIW, this may be off topic but that Eagles “win” over the Giants was ridiculous and can barely be called a win. I will not survive another pathetic game like that! And, that’s a fact!
I so agree….FWIW….moving on with great links.
A win is a win…. I guess. The O-line did its job protecting Vick and as a result – no sacks and no turnovers. It’s amazing what can happen when you don’t give the other team the ball. The Giants had that game in the bag at the end, with the best kicker in the NFL that should have went through the uprights, but I’m not complaining….. we won.
But the big game will be this weekend against the Steelers. The Eagles have never beat the Steelers at home, but I’m hoping this will be a first. I’m tired of all the smack talking at work. The guys at work were actually cheering for the Ravens, the Steelers’ biggest rival. Unreal how much time the guys at work spend Eagle hating. So a good tail whipping is in order to shut them up once and for all. But let’s be realistic, we’re talking about the Eagles – the most inconsistent team in the NFL for a decade now. It’s hard being an Eagles fan, but I sure do like drinking my Eagles’ miseries away on game night….lol. I think sometimes I drink so much that one of these days I’m going to forget the game all together. Got the case Miller Light ready for this weekend. GO EAGLES!!!!!!! please oh please oh please oh pretty please…..
Diana May-Waldman October 2nd, 2012 at 20:31
wow…you want to talk about a revenge factor? To post personal conversations that you had with her, is out of line. I am a journalist who interviewed this woman well over a year ago. She never once claimed to be anything, but an ordinary woman who made mistakes, tried her best and at the time didn’t think much of herself. For Pete sake, you want to victim bash? She lost part of her sight due to abuse.
How dare you say that you lost track of the men, the babies, the financial stuff. You are woman bashing…and God knows we all have our own crosses to bare.
I found this woman and author to be refreshingly real and honest. If you had a lick of sense then you would know and understand that her family and unbringing is predominatly religious and she struggled with it, but maintains her own personal relationship with God. wommen have to look out for their “sisters” and by golly survivors are warriors. With that said, I applaud this woman for putting the truth out there. This wasn’t about sales, this was about courage and healing. How can you not get that?
Diana – did you actually read the book? Yes or no?
I’ll come back to your comment tomorrow. Tonight this is for FWIW (he started this)! Hines Ward posted this on his Facebook page and I think it’s cute:
I had to share this with all of you, my loyal fans:
Heading to Baltimore tonight to do the Ravens-Pats game and as I’m at the gate heading to Baltimore, a flight attendant comes up to me and asks me, “You are Hines right?” and I said “Yes.” He says, “I HATE you!” So… I’m on the plane and the guy next to me says, “Are you Hines?” I say “Yes”. He says “I HATE you!” I’m thinking I’m about to…have to fight this guy. As I’m flying, I’m praying the good Lord above isn’t a Ravens fan (Haha). When I get off the plane in Baltimore, the fine people at NBC have the car service guy hold up a sign under an alias name because they don’t want people to see my name in Baltimore. I get to the hotel and the lady hands me my key to my room and says, “thank you for staying with us today Mr. Ward, and by the way I HATE you” (Haha). I go to my room and the cleaning lady recognizes me from DWTS. She congratulates me but says, “I still don’t like you” (wow). Now I love crab cakes. It’s one of my favorite foods and Baltimore is known for their awesome crab cakes. But I’m too scared to order any from room service because I don’t want to be poisoned or have someone spit on them. I’ll starve myself today I guess. Guess what Ravens fans: I HATE you too but I will miss you guys the most. I had a great 14-year run here and besides the Super Bowls, I will always cherish the Ravens-Steelers rivalry. THANKS for the great memories Ravens fan. But I’m part of a new team now, NBC. I’m even picking you guys to win tonight because I know how hard it is to play in the LION’s DEN. But come on, I really just wanted to taste some of your great crab cakes. Can’t we all just get along? (Haha) – Hines
Diana May-Waldman October 2nd, 2012 at 20:43
Yes, I read the book and interviewed the author extensively. I found her to be honest and painfully honest. I can’t believe you are bashing her.
Diana – I found this: http://www.worldwidehippies.com/2012/04/21/abuse-of-power-behind-the-badge/
Please don’t tell me what’s out of line and what is not! Who the hell are you? And how did you find this site? Yes, I’m talking revenge and jealousy. This woman caught me on aol all the time and instant messaged me several times a week. I finally ended up saying I had to do research and closing the conversation as soon as I could.
I’m talking about her sister-in-law with the men, babies and financial stuff? Did you read the book or did you commit my original error of not reading the book? DID YOU READ THE BOOK? Why in heaven’s name do I care about the men, babies and financial stuff of her sister-in-law? Why?
Yes, per your article and the book, she files her PFA after he leaves her for another woman and mostly because she claims Mark’s new girlfriend’s daughter is calling her when she’s with a babysitter! Say what? What does that have to do with Mark? DID YOU READ THE BOOK?
Maybe you should learn the difference between “bashing” and an honest review! The book is dreadful! If she pulled you in that’s your problem!
Speaking from personal experience, the very last thing I ever wanted to do was be in the presence of someone who abused me; let alone incite him to further abuse by abusing him myself. On chance meetings where I would see him, I would cross the street. And if he were publicly shouting ugly things at me, I would remove myself from his vicinity.
Bitch slapping an abusive person and then tossing a drink in their face seems to be indicative of an equally combative person. And only asking for more abuse to come to you based upon the fact that this person has, indeed, abused you prior to the meeting.
This information supplied by the author herself may be the reason that the newspapers etc. are discounting her accusations. If I were a reporter for a newspaper and was given this story to investigate, the admission of abusive and assaultive behavior on her part would certainly dilute and diminish her remarks to me. Yes, her ex certainly could have detached her retina in an abusive assault but her actions portray her as having the same tendencies. Just a sad story all the way around.
carol power October 2nd, 2012 at 21:29
Glad I did not buy the book! I believed her but wondered why her children were not on her side?
I just wanted to add for Diana – most of your piece is about the second man. I noticed you said:
But, on the morning of September 27, 2002, Torres was severely beaten and left on the side of the road, while the State Trooper drove away.
She was not “beaten” in the “conventional” sense with fists. It is with a car – she is going to get in the passenger seat and he pulls off with her hanging onto the door. He stops and she drops. I’m not trying to in any way make light of this – but “beaten” implies fists. She then repeatedly calls this same man to get him to drive her to the hospital and he refuses. Why would she repeatedly call him????????
Elizabeth October 3rd, 2012 at 07:39
You are a horrible f*cking person. How do you sleep at night? How can you get someone to trust you and then lose your mind on them? I never really believed her, but now you are using your brief and superficial friendship against her.
“Elizabeth” – I would not normally post your comment – but it gives me the opportunity to address a few more items and then I’m done.
I sleep just fine at night. As I’ve stated repeatedly – it is my fault for not reading the book! Rosa, told me over the phone that I had “set her free!” She implied she had never revealed the true identity of “Mark.” That’s a load of bull. The book makes it explicitly clear who “Mark” really is.
Somebody pulled Diana into this and she said: To post personal conversations that you had with her, is out of line. That’s also a bunch of bull. The conversations I’m relaying were not “personal.” The phone calls were clearly an interview and Rosa knew she could be quoted.
And somebody called in “Deon” who said this in a comment: I’ve been reading here objectively observing the mission and motives of the blogger and those commenting over several posts here. I probably will put together something on my blog about the controversies posted here soon. I don’t like vague threats and that is what this appears to be! I could care less what “Deon” does! He can take this comment and post it on his blog! He can do whatever he wants! LOL! Is that supposed to scare me or make me back down? Ridiculous and sad!
Once again, “Elizabeth,” comments that are strictly personal attacks will not be posted! Thank you.
Diana May-Waldman October 3rd, 2012 at 09:36
Becky–you are making this way too personal and being very combative. You seem to be a mission of personal attacks of anyone who doesn’t agree with you. Once again, YES, I’ve read the book and I am not going to split hairs with you and define what “beaten” means. Abuse is abuse. I also do feel Rosa tried very hard to show all of the dynamics that go into and surround abuse. I am not going to woman bash or re-victimize a victim and a survivor. The sheer tone and apparent anger of your comments tells me something deeper is going on here. I also have all of your conversations with Rosa and this has sparked me to write another article on what abuse survivors go through and why more women don’t come forward.
Good for you! I see you have internet BS down pat!
Damien(sic) abuse started all over again and I could not take it anymore. I wanted to show him how erratic and abusive his behavior had become. This one afternoon after work, I went by to see him. We were on the phone talking and I kept saying to him, “Let me show you why I want to speak to you.” This is when I realized he was not coming to his place anytime soon. So, I left. I set my alarm for 6:30 the following morning September 27, 2002. I wanted to show Damien how disturbed he had become. When I got to his block, I notice(sic) his car was parked on the street and I waited for him to come out.
Diana May-Waldman October 3rd, 2012 at 10:03
Becky, you are being abusive and attacking me personal.
Page 161 (Prior to the above)
My relationship with Damien was kind of strained and we were still physical. Damien was a freak! He enjoyed having anal sex; this is the only kind of sex he wanted to have. Wow, he even showed me certain types(sic) pornography on his State Police Laptop. I thought to myself, “He is a State Trooper and the law. What do I know? I felt in my gut something was just not right, but I ignored it. I always wondered if he was on the Down Low?
Please note there are no ending quotation marks and the capitalization is how it appears in the book.
Diana, you’re a joke! Grow a backbone if you’re going to be on the internet!
Diana May-Waldman October 3rd, 2012 at 10:14
Becky, again you are being abusive.
Then, go away! Are you a child?
Also , Diana, you’re a liar!
I also have all of your conversations with Rosa and this has sparked me to write another article on what abuse survivors go through and why more women don’t come forward.
Is this some kind of childish threat? You do know in PA it’s illegal to tape someone without informing them, don’t you? But hell, Diana, you go for it!
Diana May-Waldman October 3rd, 2012 at 10:22
Are you a child? Because you are acting like one. And you sure as hell aren’t being very professional. You are being abusive.
Well, I think you’re being abusive to me! Get lost!
Diana May-Waldman October 3rd, 2012 at 10:28
Nobody taped you. Why are you so angry?
Diana May-Waldman October 3rd, 2012 at 10:29
I’ve not been abusive to you at all.
Well then why did you say this:
I also have all of your conversations with Rosa
I really don’t like liars and bullshitters and you are both! That’s not being abusive – that’s telling the truth!
And I haven’t been abusive to you at all but you are starting to seriously get on my nerves!
Why don’t you write that other article? It will give you something to do!
Diana May-Waldman October 3rd, 2012 at 10:35
You are calling me names and dismissing me in an angry manner.
You’ve been dismissed! No more of your comments will be posted. I am tired of nonsense!
OMG, Becky, just stop!!!! WHO exactly is this Diana person and WHAT is her purpose or point???? You are so far above her and your readers, like me, know that you never “abuse” people but rather you point to the truth and if that appears to be “abuse” then so be it, sometimes the truth hurts. You are so far above the pettiness that Diana is creating, just stop interacting with her. UGH!!!! People like her disgust me and I hate to see you dragged into her little world, or should I say down to her level. I enjoy your site and since I am now living out of state I enjoy finding out what is happening in Lanc. Co. Let her ramble on if she so chooses just don’t get caught up in it, you have more important things to do and more important stories to cover. And BTW, I too am glad Rosa is “gone” (so to speak) her posts were getting annoying as well as kinda disturbing!!!! Hang tough and keep doing what you do!!!!
Thanks, Cindy! I am not posting any more of her comments. I am sorry for the nonsense!
“For Pete sake, you want to victim bash? She lost part of her sight due to abuse.”
And you know this how? Were you there? Did you witness it? Did you interview witnesses to the event? Did you review the police report, if there was one? How about the medical records? If a hospital is told that injuries were from an assault, domestic or otherwise, they are required by law to report it.
I don’t know why I’m even bothering, the subject is a bore. Author Dr. J. Allen Hynek wrote a book about UFO sightings. I’m sure many people believe him just because he wrote a book. I’m sure there are many gullible people in this world who believe anything and everything that they are told, sight unseen. You appear to be one of them.
I don’t deny she abused, nor do I believe it. It may have all happened as she says, minus minor embellishments; but this these types of stories being reported years later with zero confirmatory evidence sets off my BS detector and causes me to be quite a bit skeptical that other motives aren’t involved. There are people out there who crave attention, she may be one of them. Just food for thought – It would behoove any journalist to write on evidence based stories when it comes to these types of stories. Becky heard about the abuse, wrote about it, but then after reading the book and identifying other deceptive behaviors that journalists have a nose for, wrote her (now) uncertainty in some of the details and the poorly written, grammar-error laiden book. That’s journalism, it’s all over the place, but in the end the truth is written.
End of the debate for me…. time for a real debate – the presidential debate.
hereshecomes October 4th, 2012 at 07:20
Uh, just a comment on the original topic…I think huh?’s comment above is dead on. This story seems not as much about a poor, innocent woman cowering in fear from a violent spouse as about a couple who pushed each other’s buttons constantly, with violent results. Newspaper editors and others would not want to deal with this sticky mess by championing one person’s side of the story. I am sure that was also a major reason that our local shelter wasn’t interested in having Rosa speak to its women–not, as she claims, because the shelter was in on some vast Lancaster conspiracy to protect the police chief.
Let me be just one more person to say, THANK THE DEAR LORD that Rosa is gone. If she ‘God Blessed’ one more person, I think God was going to run out of blessings. And I loved your ‘Diana’ fight. It was like watching my 3 year old and me fight (You played the part of the adult!)